Working with leaders to become Transformational Leaders as well as working with executives who are in the middle of transforming their life and their carrier the muddiest phase or the hardest part of our work is to face their own inner and outer saboteurs. Especially the inner ones!
WHAT ARE THE SABOTEURS?
Your mind is your best friend, but it is also your worst enemy, involved in self-sabotage. Your self-sabotage is caused by “Saboteurs” in your mind. These Saboteurs are your internal enemies. Your inner Darth Vader as Shirzad Chamine said. They are a set of automatic and habitual mind patterns, each with its own voice, beliefs, and assumptions that work against your best interest. They are actually survival strategies developed in your childhood to gain acceptance, independence or safety. However, in adulthood they can cause us lot of problems and can severely limit both our happiness and performance. Every human being has Saboteurs, it is a normal human condition to have them.
There are 10 saboteurs. Most people have 2 or 3 dominant Saboteurs. One of them is the Master Saboteur, called the JUDGE. We all suffer from it. It makes you constantly find faults with yourself, others, and your conditions and circumstances. It causes much of our disappointment, anger, regret, guilt, shame and anxiety. It also triggers much of your relationship conflicts.
The Judge is our original survival function. A bias towards noticing, exaggerating, and reacting to the negative is a central survivor strategy. It reduces our chances of being surprised and harmed by unanticipated dangers to our physical and emotional survival. Because of this key function, the Judge is the universal Saboteur shared by all, regardless of circumstances of our upbringing.
CHARACTERISTICS OF THE JUDGE
- Self: bother self for past mistakes or current shortcomings.
- Others: focuses on what is wrong with others rather than appreciation. Gets into inferior/superior comparisons.
- Circumstances: see a circumstance or outcome “bad” rather than as a gift and opportunity.
THOUGHTS OF THE JUDGE
- What is wrong with me? I am not enough……
- What is wrong with you? You always……..
- What is wrong with my circumstance or this outcome? I will be happy when/if……
FEELINGS OF THE JUDGE
- ALL guilt, regret, shame, and disappointment is from the Judge.
- Much of anger and anxiety is initiated by the Judge as well.
JUSTIFICATION OF THE JUDGE
- Without me pushing you, you will get lazy and complacent.
LIES OF THE JUDGE
- Without me punishing you for mistakes, you will not learn from them and repeat them.
- Without me scaring you about bad future outcomes, you will not work hard to prevent them.
- Without me judging others, you will lose your objectivity and not protect your self-interest.
- Without me making your feel bad about the bad outcome, you won’t do anything to change it.
What percentage of your Judge’s total energy is being directed at Judging Yourself, Judging Others, or Judging Circumstances?
What does your Judge keep telling you?
Source: Positive Intelligence by Shirzad Chamine